Off with the Masks

Recently, I spoke with a friend who's husband  had an addiction to porn that almost destroyed their marriage.   The most unsettling part of the conversation to me was not so much about her husband's betrayal (which was devastating) but about their church family's response to this disclosure.

My heart is so saddened.  

Even though my friend and her husband were well known and very involved at their church, they soon realized they could not turn to them in their time of need.  

Instead of receiving comfort, support and encouragement they were surrounded by a family of believers who were unwilling to minister the love of Jesus to them.  They ignored their cry for help and looked the other way.  Actually, they looked at them alright, but the looks, stares, and whispers only shot arrows at my friend's already wounded heart.  There was no one they could turn to.

What about their Pastor?   So sorry to say he was only heard from ONE time following and it was by a note he had left on their door. No love, no encouragement, no counseling, no comfort,  no intervention...just silence.

I don't know if I am more sad or more angry.  There is something not at all right about this.

How it must grieve the heart of God when we choose to treat our wounded brothers and sisters with such unloving  attitudes.  This is an example of why we seldom have transparency in our churches.  Why most people feel the need to put on their masks as they walk through the doors.  They fear being judged and not accepted.  I understand because I have felt the same fear so many times.   How can we be Jesus to a lost and dying world when we can't even help our fellow believers in a time of pain and brokenness?  My friend and her husband took their masks off, became vulnerable but did not receive the love and support their hearts longed for. 

Thankfully,  even though she felt abandon by her church family, she knew Jesus would not abandon her.  Her marriage has now been restored and life is good.  Praise God! BUT  I can't help but think:  What if she hadn't had a deep, personal relationship with Jesus...where would she be now?  Would she dare step foot in a church again after being treated so unkindly?  Would she want anything to do with Jesus, Whom this church family claimed to know?  Honestly, she may have gotten more kindness and words of encouragement from the drunks at the local bar.  Sad isn't it?

Will the "church" ever be a place where hurting people can come to find hope and not judgement?  Will we ever be able to take our masks off and be real and transparent?  I am sorry to say, if not, than we are misrepresenting the ONE whose name we claim to know.  This is NOT the Jesus of the bible that I read about.  His WORD tells us that He came for those who are sick....who need HIM.  Those who are hurting, held captive, the discouraged, the lost, the broken.

Here is a thought.....Could there have possibly been even ONE marriage in that congregation that had battled these same issues my friend was facing or ones similar?   The possibility of that is a definite YES!! Could it be that if they would have been willing to take their own masks off  God could have used them  to minister to my hurting friend and her husband?  I know I am making assumptions here but I am just trying to get my point across.

I believe that as we go through trials and tribulations, we take away valuable treasures that can help others....that is our testimony and  if we are willing to share that testimony when an opportunity comes before us...God will be glorified  and others will find hope.

WHAT causes us to not be real or transparent when it comes to what God has brought us through? Could it be because we have masks of pride that we are unwilling to take off?

Can I be frank? If your goal is to make yourself look good and holy than keep your mask on.  That is the easy choice..it's comfortable and what the majority does.  I understand this because I have worn my share.   BUT,  if your desire is to give Him glory, then the mask must go!  There is NOTHING good in me or  in any of us, apart from Christ... so why fake it!!

Self righteous attitudes and hearts full of pride will never point others to CHRIST.  I recently heard it called spiritual camouflage....and in God's Kingdom it's NOT attractive and NOT beneficial to anyone!

I don't know about you but I do NOT want the pain I have been through to be wasted! If God can use it to help someone else then I want to be willing to allow Him to do just that. I, too, must take off my mask. 

Our testimony of the real issues and pain that God has brought us through can be the catalyst God may use to bring healing to others.  How cool is that!!

God's Word says in Romans 8:38 that "He works all things together for good for those who love  Him and are called according to His purpose"...  but I believe it is not just for our benefit but for those He will bring into our path, as well!!

As the body of Christ, may we be known for who we really are, sinners saved only by grace.  May we have hearts that invite the hurting to take off their masks. May we show them the love of Christ with transparency (taking our own masks off) and point them to the ONE who is our Redeemer.  As we do this, God will be glorified,  those wounded within our walls will find healing, captives will be set free and the lost will truly see Jesus in us!

 Think about it......it may be the one sitting right in front of you who has come to your church broken but so desperate for love, hope, acceptance, ...will they find it?  I pray they do.

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:  Who, being in the very nature of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

Phil 1:1-7

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love

John 13:35


Come and Listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what He has done for me.
Psalm 66:16