Painful Truths

The truth;  with it can come joy, peace, thankfulness, healing, forgiveness, revelation, security, redemption, deliverance and so much more.   But then there is the truth that brings pain, regret, anger, shock, unbelief, sorrow and all of those negative emotions that none of us like to experience.  One causes beauty, the other brings wounds and scars.  One is the key that unlocks the prison door to freedom and victory while the other, left unchecked, can trap you behind a door of self pity and destruction.   The pain of finding out that what you thought was "truth" was only a charade filled with acts of betrayal and intentional lies, leaves you in a deep pit of hurt and anger.  When your husband has betrayed you and lied to you over and over again to satisfy himself, truth hurts.  Afterall, this is not just a friend, but the one with whom you gave your heart to, the one you chose to share a lifetime with, the one who pledged to you that he would forsake all others, to protect you, to love you with a sacrificial love.   Just this last week, I thought I had a pretty clear picture of my husband's addiction to porn, but I found out wrong.  There was another piece of the puzzle revealed to me.  It was a very small piece...to some, it would seem like nothing.   Nevertheless, it hurts.  Are there more illusions that I have had that are false?  I know in my heart that these revelations of truth are necessary for complete healing  but that does not make them any less painful.  God's word says that you will KNOW the TRUTH and the truth will set you FREE! Of course, THE TRUTH, which is Jesus, will do just that! When your eyes are opened to THE TRUTH of Him.....your life will forever be changed.  That is what He came for.   He came to not only save us, but He also came to proclaim liberty to the captives, to bind up the broken hearted, to open the eyes to those who are bound, to give joy to those who mourn, to give beauty for ashes, to bestow a garment of praise for a heavy and burdened spirit(Isaiah 61:1-3). Thank you, Jesus!! We have NO excuse for staying in the pit that satan would love to use to destroy us and to keep us bound.  Praise the Lord that even in knowing the truth of our circumstances  we can experience freedom, even if it is painful for a season.   Freedom cannot be achieved without sacrifice, without battle scars, without penetrating wounds. Just look at what Jesus had to go through, the pain he endured for you and me.   A high price was paid so that we could CHOOSE to experience freedom.  It's your choice and mine to make.

 Lord, thank you for your grace that will enable me to accept the painful truths that continue to be revealed. Thank you that You are working ALL of these things together for good not only in my life but in the lives of those around me. Lord, help me to not to dwell on the painful truths of the past that are brought to light but to lay them at your feet along with the brokenness they bring and allow your love to heal.  Thank you that You see my heart and You know and understand how difficult this process is.  Thank you that You desire for my marriage to reveal Your Glory, for me and my husband to be FREE from the bondage that has enslaved  us for so long.  I know You are with me, I know You are doing amazing things in the heart of my husband, I see it.  I know you are healing me from years of betrayal. I thank You that You are in this process with me.  Please help me to not, in any way, hinder what You desire to do.  I need You. I thank You for the price You have paid for my freedom even when You knew the truth of how many times I would betray You, how many times I would choose my selfish ways over Your ways.  Your love never gives up on me and is just what will set me free and keep me free.