Can I help you, sweet friend? Can I offer HOPE to you during this Christmas season?
You see, Christmas is NOT all about what the world tries to sell to you. The gifts, the romance, the shopping, the lights, the tree, the family pictures, etc....it is so much MORE.
The truth is, whether your marriage is at a good place or all hell is breaking lose around you...YOU have a reason to celebrate. You have a reason for HOPE.
I understand. Life may really stink right now and the pain may feel relentless. However, it is your response to that pain that will determine your ability to really embrace the miracle of this season. It is so easy to center your life focus around your husband and your brokenness. Seriously, give yourself a break. After all, YOU can't fix your husband, change your husband, nor can YOU heal your own broken heart. Only GOD can bring about the miracles you long for. All those negative thoughts you are having will not change anything for the better but only keep you in a pit of hopelessness.
I only share this because I know what it is like to face the holidays with a broken heart. In my world there was something about holidays and porn that seemed to go hand and hand. Ugh! Thanks be to God that is no longer the case but I remember them well. I have done what I am encouraging you NOT to do. I wasted precious time attending my own pity party. I allowed the enemy to reek havoc on my favorite season of the year more than I care to mention. Seriously? Did it change things? Did it help my marriage for me to walk around in defeat and despair? Did it heal the brokenness? No...far from that!! When we are hurting, we can get so caught up in our own little messed up world that we miss the true meaning of what Christmas is really about. Then before we know it, it's over and we chalk it down as another holiday that we feel was ruined by our husband's choices and we start out the new year with regret and bitterness.
So what do you do? HOW do you celebrate when your heart is so wounded. Two things. Take your eyes off of your husband AND take your eyes off of yourself. FIX your eyes on the ONE who is worthy of ALL of your praise. Consume yourself with thoughts of His love for you instead of what is hurting you. Let this season be ALL about Him. Not you. Not your husband. Only Jesus. Savior. Redeemer. Healer. Prince of Peace. King of Kings. Lord of Lords. Let me remind you that God sent his ONE and ONLY son as a babe KNOWING what his future had in store. Rejection, betrayal, pain, death. BUT He sent Him anyway. Hebrews 12:2 says "for the JOY set before Him, He endured the cross". What JOY was there in what Jesus endured? Precious one, YOUR redemption was his JOY! YOU are His reason for this season...the reason He came. The reason he died. The reason He is interceding in heaven this very moment! How can you NOT celebrate, even through the tears and the pain?
Just as God's amazing story of redemption played out in a way nobody expected....God's story for YOU is being written in the midst of the difficulties and pain that YOU never expected. I get it...your marriage was NOT supposed to be like this! You can be assured that God is not surprised by what you are facing. It is part of YOUR story. God WILL so beautifully use your pain to bring about His glorious plans and purposes for your life as you surrender the ashes to Him. No only does he know what battles and brokenness you face but he understands, as well. Let's bring it down to a personal level. Jesus understands rejection, pain and betrayal like no other. That means He understands YOUR pain, YOUR hurt, YOUR rejection, YOUR betrayal! He gets it! Sister, may knowing that encourage your broken heart in ways beyond the wounds of your own betrayal and pain.
Sweet friend... this holiday season, be determined with tenacious courage to not let anyone or anything deter you from celebrating, remembering and honoring the coming of your King. Don't allow the enemy to torment you, distract you, or defeat you with thoughts of what your Christmas SHOULD be like. God has already given you the most valuable, extravagant, special, priceless gift that outshines, outlasts, and out-gives them all. His name is Jesus.
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6
..fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the JOY set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn and provide for those who grieve in Zion-to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of His splendor. Isaiah 61:1-3
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