Unanswered Prayers and Longing Hearts

Daisies were my mom's favorite flower. Honestly, her life resembled their beauty. She was a sweet spirited woman of faith bringing JOY to all who knew her.  Though her life was not how she would have planned it, she stood strong and courageous and embraced her place. Throughout her marriage of almost 50 years, she believed God and kept believing when others would have given up and walked away. Hidden behind her gracious smile, her life consisted of frequent frustrations and brokenness.   The majority of this was due to my father’s enduring hidden struggle with alcoholism.  Yes, she could have walked away, she could have given up, but her stubborn LOVE, FAITH and even fearfulness kept her where she was.  Some would say that her LOVE only enabled my dad and maybe so.  I am not writing this to debate that aspect nor am I one to judge, but what I can do is share with you what I witnessed as her daughter; a wife who loved the unlovable at her own heart’s expense.  My mother’s sacrificial love and faith carried her through such difficult times that it breaks my heart even as I write this.  Because of her steadfast love for my father, my brothers and I avoided the additional scars that can come from a broken home and, with all selfishness, I praise Jesus for that.  Yes, our home was broken in other ways but our family stayed intact and I believe that aspect protected our hearts from MORE brokenness.   Out of all due respect and honor towards my father I must stop here and say that my dad was a good man, a generous man, a good father and a good provider.  He faithfully went to church and battled this demon most of his life.  He wasn't your typical alcoholic.  He hid it well while I was growing up, just as my mom hid her pain.  Actually, I can say I never saw him drunk as a child. None the less,  I saw and witnessed later, as an adult, the pain and brokenness that my mom had carried for so long.  The truth is nobody would have loved my dad, apart from God, the way that my mom loved him.  She was Jesus to him on so many different levels. 

After many years, there were sighs of relief and thankful celebration as my mom felt like her prayers had been answered when my dad checked himself into a rehab.  However, those seemingly answered prayers soon became her hearts cry once again, when months later he took his first drink back towards what his body had always craved.  Why did it seem that God answered my mother’s prayers only to find out months later that those answered prayers were only short term and  she was right back where she started, broken all over again?  How very devastating!  Can you relate?

I have been thinking so much lately about unanswered prayers, longing hearts and chronic suffering. 

 

I think about my mom (and myself) and our hope and belief in Jesus that He would deliver my dad.  After all, we knew it was God’s will for my dad to be set free from his bondage, so why wasn't he?   I know about free will, choices, and all of that however, being aware of those kinds of things doesn't lessen the pain of our heart’s longings. Besides, I know that my God can do ANYTHING!

I also think about my fervent, pleading prayers and belief for my mom to be healed of cancer and am wistfully reminded of her passing each day and most heavily each time my kids have milestone moments that we are unable to share with her.  Nevertheless, I am quite aware that we are not, by no means, the only ones on the planet to experience this kind of long-suffering in what seems to be a never-ending journey through the wilderness of pain and unmet longings.

I think about the couple who has unceasingly prayed for years to conceive a child only to have their dreams forever crushed by cancer. 

I think about the wife who spent so much of her married life praying for her husband’s heart and deliverance only to have him leave her for another woman and now she is divorced and finds herself as a single mom living the life she could have never imagined.

I think of the little girl who cries out to God to heal her daddy, only to find that he dies three months later.

I think about the parents who fervently prayed for their child who was put into prison for drugs, only to have him released and then die from an overdose.

I think about the missionary who felt the call of God to go to a foreign country, who interceded on behalf of the lost, who believed God for protection only to be martyred, never seeing the fruit of his labors.

I could go on and on about loss, suffering, and unanswered prayers and perhaps even add your story to the above.  This side of Heaven, THIS. IS. LIFE. IT. IS. HARD.  However, this is not meant to depress you, to tell you that prayer is meaningless or to deflate your faith!  Please stay with me.

My mom has since past away, as well as my dad.  Her prayers were never answered this side of heaven, yet she died in faith, STILL believing that our God is faithful.  And you know what?  There are MANY who passed before her, whose FAITH stood the test of much patience, suffering, brokenness, along with those who were burned, tortured, stoned, imprisoned, whipped and oppressed even unto death. Of course, for the most part, these beautifully brave and courageous followers of Christ were not noticed by our world.  Their faith did not earn them any special accolades or awards.  I can promise you this; if they were standing before us they would say none of that mattered to them.  They were doing what they did for an audience of ONE.  Friends, that ONE took SPECIAL notice of their kind of faith, so much so, that He felt it important enough to speak of them…

All these people died still believing what God had promised them. They did not receive what was promised, but they saw it all from a distance and welcomed it. They agreed that they were foreigners and nomads here on earth. Obviously people who say such things are looking forward to a country they can call their own. If they had longed for the country they came from, they could have gone back.  But they were looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. Hebrews 11:13-14

Did you catch that?  Read the first part again.

All these people died still believing what God had promised them.  

They did not receive what was promised…

Friends, sometimes our prayers are answered quickly, obviously, and even miraculously.  Our faith is ignited and our doubts are laid dormant in light of God’s evident working power in our lives and in the lives of those around us.  Other times, God’s perfect plan comes to fruition in ways that we might not recognize or understand.

 

Over the long haul of asking and believing, it gets tough. We get weary.  Our faith wavers.  We don’t like to think about having to continue in the wilderness of suffering and unmet longings and certainly we don’t want to even consider leaving this earth without seeing our gut-wrenching prayers answered.  Friend, you already know this, but maybe it is time to really embrace it; your prayers may not be answered THIS side of Heaven the way you would like them to be.  Can you be okay with that? 

Friend,  whatever it is you are praying for or against, GOD has a purpose weaved all through it.  He lovingly filters ALL things that affect the lives of his children.  If he allowed it, HE plans to use it for GOOD.  Not only will He use it to transform YOU, but to bring about HIS Kingdom purposes on this earth and in the hearts of those you love.

 

This is a quote worth sharing;

“We can be sure our prayers are answered precisely in the way we would want them to be answered if we knew everything God knows.”  Tim Keller

If you step back and look at it from a Heavenly perspective, those in Hebrews 11 really received the GREATER promise…the promise of their happy eternal after with Jesus.  By God’s grace and strength, that is what they kept their eye on, as the scripture tells us.  That is how they faced the horrific and unimaginable suffering that they were subjected to.  I pray that I could do the same. How about you?

Friends, this journey on this earth is NOT the MAIN thing!  So much of the time we are so short sighted that we lose our eternal perspective.  In the scheme of things, THIS life on earth is SO short, so minute compared to eternity.  Let me just remind all of us that God’s calling upon our lives, first and foremost is to be His hands and feet to a lost and dying world.  That is God’s heart…to save the lost.   Are we grieving over the lost and interceding for them or are we obsessing over our own unanswered prayers? I know for me, sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own little world that I lose sight of what is REALLY important.  I get so distracted by what is right in front of me.  

Don’t misunderstand me; I am in no way belittling the heart-wrenching things you may be praying about.   Even as I write this, there are tough and difficult circumstances in my own life that I am continually laying on the alter of prayer.  I say continually because I am so quick to want to pick it up again so I have have to revisit that place of surrender quite often.   Of course God doesn't need me to do that... I need me to do that!!  WHY? Because my flesh is weak. I want things fixed NOW! I don't like waiting, I don't like feeling out of control, I don't like pain, and I don't like the unknown.  So, are things changing? No, not things...but what is changing is me.  Trusting, believing, and even waiting brings growth and maturity that cannot come otherwise.  For now, that is MORE important to my loving Father than to change the circumstances I am praying about.  So,  I will keep praying and believing that my God is in control and hears every prayer. I can be confident that God has a Divine plan that exceeds my limited vision.

It is obvious that prayer is important to God.  After all, it has been noted that there are around 650 prayers in the bible. Prayer is powerful and brings about amazing and Divine things on this earth! Jesus even prayed and as follower's of Christ it is so very important that we do the same!

Without prayer, there is no communication and no communication means no relationship!  Prayer is not necessarily all about the asking NOR the answering, it’s about opening our hearts up to have communion with our Savior and connecting our hearts to His.  Therefore, keep praying, by all means.  And as you do so, think about your difficulties this way; if what you are suffering and/or praying for is keeping you humble and dependent upon Jesus then consider it a divine blessing of grace! Amen?!

Will you continue to believe God and not allow your faith to be shaken though your prayers may seem stagnant in the wilderness of waiting or chronic long suffering? Can you passionately pray a bold and courageous prayer just as Jesus did and proclaim from the depth of your soul “not my will but thine be done”?  Lord, Jesus help us!

Will YOUR name be added to the precious saints that God deemed worth mentioning because, by FAITH, you continue to believe until your last breath on earth?  I don’t know about you, but Hebrews 11:13 gives me tenacious HOPE and a resolve to bravely and steadfastly continue to BELIEVE and TRUST God no matter how long the waiting or the pain of brokenness my heart may endure.

 

Back to my mom’s prayers…what seemed to be unanswered prayers were actually divinely answered! My dad received his deliverance the day he entered Heaven.  Before passing he had many “God” moments that I was so very blessed to witness.  He even wrote out a note that was read at his funeral in which he asked not only God’s forgiveness, but the forgiveness of those he had caused pain.  God’s grace is so amazing!

And my prayers for my mom’s healing?  God heard and God answered.  She is healed now, no longer does her heart hurt nor her body… she is with Jesus and that is the best answered prayer on the planet! Do I LIKE the way my prayers were answered? For my mom's benefit, YES, Absolutely! As for my benefit...not so much!  My selfish self wants her here with me.  However, I have embraced the fact that my heart's longing will never be fulfilled until I get to Heaven when I am reunited with her. SO thankful that because of Jesus, I have MUCH to look forward to and so do YOU!!

Friend, God sees you! God hears you and His perfect love for you will answer your hearts cry as every circumstance and every difficulty is filtered through His amazing grace.  Keep praying, keep believing, keep trusting, and keep serving!  Always remember what God has ALREADY done for you! May you be filled with HOPE as you see heaven and Jesus as the backdrop in every single thing you encounter on this journey! He is faithful and the ultimate Promise Keeper! Believe it! 

Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her. Luke 1:45

So we do not look at what we can see right now, the troubles all around us, but we look forward to the joys in Heaven which we have not yet seen.  The troubles will soon be over; the joys to come will last forever.  2 Corinthians 4:18

But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31

Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never permit the righteous to be

moved.  Psalm 55:22

Only fear the Lord and serve Him faithfully with all your heart.  For consider what great things He has done for you. 1 Samuel 12:24