Broken But Not Bitter

Sadly, there are countless stories of divorce these days.  Stories of heart break, rejection, and affairs can be heard everywhere you turn. But not all stories are told from a heart like the one I recently encountered.  


A while back, I was privileged to sit across from a friend who shared her story of brokenness.  Not long ago she went through the pain of divorce after MANY years of marriage. She encouraged counseling and tried to convince her husband that they could work it out, but he refused.
    
She was in shock.  He was a Godly man. He was involved in ministry at church.  His bible was worn from years devoted to daily communion with His Lord..  She thought they had a great relationship. They seldom fought, things always seemed good.  That is, until the last year or so before the divorce.  He acted different.  Not as happy.  He was more irritable than usual.  He had underwent  a few surgeries, taken medication. She thought that could be the reason he seemed to be different.   She never suspected a thing.  She was quite surprised, to say the least, when she got a $1200 phone bill and found out it was to one of her employees. Her husband was having an affair. Not with just a stranger but a woman she worked with.  At that moment, her life changed forever.

Why am I sharing this?  


Because I want to be more like her.  She is unique.  


Did she invite those listening to join her in a pity party?  Did she vent about how awfully she was treated? Did she bash her ex-husband and talk about what a terrible man he was?  Quite the opposite.


As she spoke, she was not filled with anger.  Her countenance showed no signs of bitterness.  She radiated  from a heart filled with courage, strength and beauty.  You could not feel pity for her because the peace she exemplified was beyond understanding.  She had tears that flowed, not for herself, but for her ex-husband.  He walked away from the relationship he once had with the Lord and her heart is grieved.  She did not belittle him but talked of what a good man he was. Such love.  Even though her heart had been broken and  wounded by her ex-husband's choices, she did not allow that pain to callous her heart.


I am in awe of my friend.   She is an inspiration to me.  I wonder to myself, could I do that?  Could I be filled with such unselfish love, compassion and concern if I were in her shoes?   I want to be able to say YES!    She exemplifies agape love.   It is only through the love of Jesus that our hearts can experience so much pain and betrayal  from another and yet, care more about their eternal security than the scars they have left behind.  My friend has found the treasure in this life...and that is not found in a relationship with a man but with the ONE who calls her His beloved.  She has clung to her Lord because she knows she is His.  She smiles through tears of  beauty that knows the power of forgiveness.


Isn't that just like what Christ does for each one of us?  We betray Him, we choose our ways over His, sin over obedience and yet, His love never fails.  He continues to pursue us. He desires to have an intimate, personal relationship with us.  He calls to us, but we will not listen.  How it must break His heart when we turn to the things of this world instead of the One true love He died to give us.  Even though we commit spiritual adultery each time we give ourselves to other things or people, He continues to call us to return to Him.  I am so very thankful that His mercies are new every morning.  That He sees the good in me even when my choices prove my unfaithfulness towards Him. Oh, how I want my heart to be filled with His  love....A love that sees others as He sees them. The kind of sight that my friend has, that's what I want.  To be broken and beautiful, not bitter...that is real freedom and that, my friend, is the redeeming love Christ extravagantly offers to each one of us.


See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.  Hebrews 12:15

How priceless is your unfailing love!  Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings.  Psalm 36:7