What are You Holding Onto???

Without wavering, let us hold tightly to the hope we say we have, for God can be trusted to keep His promises. 

Hebrews 10:23

In a moment of panic, pain, fear, uncertainty, or insecurity, what is it you take hold of?  

Do you hold tightly to Jesus and His Word, or do you waver and struggle to grab onto anything that falsely resembles safety and security? 

There have been many times, after my husband was "caught" looking at porn, that I would let go of Jesus and what I knew to be TRUE and grab on to my husband.  How?   I became a control freak.  Fear was my motivator.  In  moments of desperation, it made me feel safe.  It made me feel like I was protecting my heart, my husband.  I would try to control what he saw, what he did.   We all know this is crazy....it doesn't work.  Nevertheless, it is what I did.   Unless you have been married to a man with this kind of addiction you probably can't relate.   This "hold" on my husband only brought more chains, instead of freedom.  It's like trying to hold onto grains of sand...you can't really grasp it,  you are left empty handed.  It is a false security that only leads to a pit of despair and hopelessness.

I wish I could say that I have learned my lessons, that I never waver, that I got this one down.  The truth is, I  still finding myself grasping to hold onto things that God never intended.

I know in my spirit that God is in control but my flesh shouts something different.  It is such a struggle.  Some days are harder than others to just wait, to be still, to trust.  But Jesus so sweetly, so gently, speaks to my heart and beckons me to let go, to quit struggling, and to take hold of HIM.  It's a choice I must make.  I have to choose to intentionally let go of my hold on my husband, my kids, my way, my fears, my future, my expectations, my plans, my life....so that I can take hold of HIM.  Only then can real security and peace reign in my heart.

Lord, help me to hold tightly to YOU and never let go.  

Help me to not allow anything or anyone to cause my grip to falter.  

Help me not to waver.  

If I start to slip, Lord please remind me that in this life YOU are my safe place, my refuge.  

Help me to remember that taking hold of YOU is the easier part,  it's KEEPING hold of YOU where the struggle comes.  

When I want to be in control, I slip.  

When I focus on my circumstances and give in to despair,  I slip a little more. 

When I allow others to be more important to me than YOU, I fall.  

To hold tightly to YOU is to fully trust YOU and allow YOU to be in control.  

YOU are what's worth holding onto for dear life.  

The beautiful thing is, when I choose to hold on to YOU........YOU embrace me, YOU rescue me, YOU surround me with your presence and I find the peace and the security that my heart desires.