Bitterly Broken Woman or Beautifully Beloved Daughter?

All of us have been wounded at one time or another.  All of us have been hurt by someone who was supposed to love us. Your friends may not have been wounded as you have been because of your husband's addiction to porn, but they have been wounded, nevertheless. That. is. life.

In the rawness of our pain, we begin to believe the lie that we are the ONLY one and that our hurt is GREATER than anyone else's.  We become angry as our self talk screams that life is NOT fair and someone (our husband) needs to pay for our brokenness.

We can hold so tightly to the pain that the weight of it keeps us in a PIT of despair threatening to destroy the very core of who we are.   The chains soon wrap around our broken hearts as self-pity consumes us and a root of bitterness begins to grow.  Been there!! What do we do?

Dear friend, we all have a choice to make! The vital question I must ask you....what will YOU choose?

Will your life portray a bitterly broken woman or a beautifully beloved daughter?

One is trapped in a prison of her own making, the other is free not because there is no pain but because she has learned the importance of surrendering her broken heart to her Savior.  She understands the reality of our journey on this earth was not guaranteed to be pain free.  We were NEVER promised that. Not here. Not now. Not this side of heaven.

Those closest to us are the ones who have the potential to hurt us the most.  Sad, but true. Why? because we love them SO very much. Yes, we have the strongest feelings for them but when they have wounded us, we can also have the worst feelings for them!

The truth is the resentment, anger, bitterness and unforgiveness that is trying to destroy you is MORE toxic than the actual source of your brokenness!  In other words, it is not your husband's addiction to porn that will harden your heart...it is YOUR response to it that will do the most damage.  Oh, sister if we can only get a picture of this! Your enemy will try to use your husband's hurtful choices to blacken YOUR heart just as much as he has used the addiction to blacken the heart of your husband.  He is out to destroy not only your husband and your marriage but YOU, as God's beloved daughter. Let me just stop here and say.... it is okay to have those feelings...you have been deeply wounded!  It is okay to be angry, to cry, to have emotions you didn't know you had but the key is not to stay in that place.  Don't deny how you feel! Pain causes all kinds of things to surface on the get-go...I just want to encourage you to give yourself some time to deal with those feelings and determine in your heart that you will NOT let your pain destroy the YOU that God created YOU to be!

The enemy would love to destroy the beauty God desires to bring from your ashes. But, seriously, hasn't the enemy stolen enough from you??  The marriage you dreamed of, the husband you thought you knew, the intimacy and trust...isn't enough, enough???

No matter what has broken your heart and left it in pieces, there is HOPE!!  This WORD is for YOU!!

Isaiah 61:1-3

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed and qualified me to preach the Gospel of good tidings to the meek, the poor, and afflicted; HE HAS SENT ME TO BIND UP AND HEAL THE BROKENHEARTED, to proclaim liberty to the (physical and spiritual) captives and the opening of the prison and of the eyes to those who are bound.
To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord (the year of His favor) and the day of vengeance of our GOD, to COMFORT ALL WHO MOURN,
To grant (consolation and JOY) to those who mourn in Zion, to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of BEAUTY INSTEAD OF ASHES, THE OIL OF JOY instead of mourning, the garment of PRAISE INSTEAD OF A HEAVY, BURDENED, and FAILING SPIRIT, that THEY MAY BE CALLED OAKS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, the planting of the LORD, that HE MAY BE GLORIFIED.

Sweet one, did you get that? Read it again!! Jesus came for YOU and for me....for the broken! You do NOT have to allow "THIS" to destroy you, whatever your "THIS" is!!! Friend, JESUS already purchased your healing and wholeness! He CAME to HEAL your brokenness, to give you beauty for your ashes, JOY instead of mourning, the garment of PRAISE instead of the heavy burdened failing spirit that you now may be experiencing!  Oh, how HE loves YOU!!! He knows of your brokenness, He SEES your tears, HE understands your pain!  

WHAT is His purpose for this promise??  "that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified."

Here, God likens His people (HIS daughters) to Oaks of righteousness. This speaks volumes about the way HE sees YOU!! Oak trees are known for their great strength and stubborn durability. Their strength and life do not come from what you can see on the outside but from their deep roots that are hidden underground. The root system grows so deep into the soil as to reach the water and nutrients that is needed for them to be what they were created to be. These deep and large roots provide the foundation for this tree to withstand all kinds of conditions from wind, drought, storms, and even earthquakes.  That is God's heart for YOU and for me and for all of His beloved children.   Jeremiah gives us an even clearer picture of what this looks like:

                                                Jeremiah 17:7-8

(Most) blessed is the man (woman) who believes in, trusts in, and relies on the LORD and whose hope and confidence the LORD is.

For he (she) shall be like the tree planted by the waters that spread out its roots by the water;  and it shall not see and fear when heat comes; but its leaf shall be green.  It shall not be anxious and full of care in the year of drought, nor shall it cease yielding fruit.

Your hope my friend, your trust, your confidence, the ONE you rely on must be in the ONE who loves YOU like no other!!  Even now. It's not your husband, your best friend, your pastor, your parents! THE ONLY ONE who can bring light to your darkness is the ONE who is LIGHT!! Make no mistake about it.... God did not cause your brokenness but HE is the ONE who desires to heal you totally and completely.  Will you turn to HIM? Will YOU trust HIM??    I can promise you this, if you do...YOU will see the above promises fulfilled in your own life for HIS glory!!!  You will find strength and courage and confidence to get out of the PIT that satan desires to keep you in and grow deep roots so that nothing can destroy the beautiful fruit that GOD desires to bring forth from your brokenness. 

Friend, I believe YOU desire to live out your God-given destiny as His beautiful beloved daughter! Don't waste another moment.  Turn to Jesus, tell him of your hurts, release your anger, bitterness, and allow Him to grow your roots deep within the soil of HIS unending, unrelenting, unchanging love for YOU!!! Don't allow the roots of bitterness and the like poison and infect the strong deep roots in Jesus that He has for you.  YOU are the reason he came....to heal YOUR heart, to set YOUR heart free from the storms, the wind, the rain, the hurt, the pain, the bitterness, the anger, all for the display of HIS splendor!!! NO matter what your husband chooses to do, no matter what hard decisions or boundaries you need to put in place... Let HIS beauty shine forth IN YOU!!! Day after day, remind yourself to TRUST HIM, to put your HOPE and CONFIDENCE in HIM alone!! He will NOT fail YOU!!! He is FAITHFUL, Always!!! YOU ARE HIS BEAUTIFULLY BELOVED DAUGHTER!!

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.  Hebrews 12:15